This is a redo of sorts. I originally wrote this two years ago, and am reissuing this piece with a few changes.

Now that she's here..so far away...turning, facing away as the watchman grew weary, she said..."it looks like rain you say, and the wind is blowing as if it were the end of the world.." "funny you should mention such an analogy, Mrs. Weatherly," as I pass the cold nite shielding the rain before me," the edge of the world is where i lay my head"...then she smiles for a second, "I think it's getting dark, I should be on my way," she laments...with a smile that could melt 1,000 nights, as the tangles of a once laden heart twine, twist make their way up and around, "maybe it's just my smile, you say.." she whispers...the night, the cursed, beautiful colorful night, so long forgotten on these cobblestone streets, her footprints her steps in the dark the only memory of a love torn, and I'm left hanging on.."it's so cold..cold if you were dead.." I said...gazing through the fog, raindrops like prisms through the moonlit nite along Fascination Street, my pictures of you torn, bent creased with time, moistened with anger & tears, "if only I'd known of the right words, I could have held on to her heart...if only I could once again fill my heart with love" I lament, as I remember you, as bigger, brighter and wider than the snow....screaming at the make believe, I see Old Miss Mary offers a bed & a bite in the morning, but with much regard, I shall pass, for it is nary a dime to my name that she can collect, her rooms remain empty tonite, for it is my little world, inside my misty head, and aching heart, where I make my peace, writing words no one sees, and no one knows...I stumble as the Scarab makes his way across my path, knowing where to go to find shelter, to nourish & to find his love, whilst I, the lonely broken one, reluctantly make my way to my lonely room, remembering you standing quiet in the rain as I ran to your heart to be near...and we kissed as the sky fell in, holding you close how I always held close in your fear...runnin softly through the nite, holding hands, and laughing aloud, "ah, yes, I remember those nites all too well, young lad," the Watchman croons, as he makes his way, his outstretched arm holding his flickering lantern, many a line cris-crossing his weathered face, wisdom stretched forever in his mind, a friendly yet regretful smile ever ready, as the memories come pouring back, hard and cold as the rain, splitting as the lightning overhead..through his light, I see a shadow, of her, she would not dare wait up for me, she must not know I am on my journey home..shivering, lamenting, crying she waits underneath the willow, weeping in time, as if to ease her pain, yet hesitant to stop the rain..."I'm so glad that you came, I'm so glad you remembered, to see how it ended, our last dance together.." she whispers to me..."I really believe this time is forever..." I sigh, a woman now standing where once there was only a girl...I take her by her cold and slighted hand, I whisper, "and after I wipe away the tears..just close your eyes dear.." as we carry on like newborn lovers, the rush of love fleeting through the pouring rain, the rain paying no mind as I look into her pearl black eyes, and pray to hear her say I love you, but she tells no more lies..."I'm so glad that you came, I'm so glad you remembered...walking thru walls in the heart of December..the blindness & happiness, falling down laughing I really believe that this time was forever.."I recall, taking her into my arms, wanting to walk away, not yet ready to depart & resume my journey home, a love not extinguished, yet doused to ashes, the rain saying no more, Old Mrs. Weatherly cursing our affair, "she's too good for you lad, don't fall into her web again....this nite's spell is too long for such a trist, run along you two, hurry home," she says, faintingly..."and you young lad, you've got to hurry home & start living, ain't no use trying to rekindle what was lost forever...and you, Miss Christina, you are so young and beautiful, seeing you with him breaks my heart, for I know the pain he has brought into your heart, your children, your family needs you....lest you be sleeping guilty dreams all day, you hurry home and tend to your matters as well, little darling..just remember, this young lad will always have a special place in his young heart for you, for he's uttered to me feelings unto you he cannot describe," Miss Weatherly croons...for it is now I realize that even if we drink, I don't think we would kiss in the way that we did, when this woman was only a girl...standing in the same deep water as you is hard, as our hearts disintegrate, our touch fading away, our love still fighting somewhere out of reach, never to be held onto again..."kiss me goodbye...I need to push this out before I sleep...but can't you see I try" I whisper..."I'll never lose this pain..never dream of you again.." she replies...as she slowly turns her eyes to the night, to see Old Mrs. Weatherly home, my pictures of you crumbling, breaking apart in my heart, forgotten in mind, looking so long for these words to be true...."for it must be known, despite all my hurt, my intrusions, Old Miss Weatherly is right...Miss Christina I love you..maybe I can catch up with the Watchman and regale him with tales of old, for he could talk for a fortnight, and never leave a sleepy eye in his presence.." I say to myself, as I slowly continue on my way back to the edge of the world...if I shall fall, just know that it's better to forget...than to remember me and cry..."I shall stop by Miss Mary's in the morning for a bite, and kindly thank her for her discretion tonite, for it is due time I take my mind off such heavy matters and start anew.." I whisper as I blow a gentle kiss in Miss Christina's direction, hoping to not get beat down by the rain, to find her loving heart, to stay in the little corner she carries me in...regretfully never to love again...as the old Watchman lowers his lantern for the night, I hurry home to my room, writing forgotten memories with a beaten quill on old worn pages, ragged is the writing, pure are the memories...perhaps as ragged as me, or heck maybe the old Watchman...or perhaps as ragged as my heart...only Miss Christina would know...but I dare not request her presence, for guilt makes for a long nite in the stare, with your thoughts beating your head like a drum..."maybe I can write her out of mind," I say to myself with a slight smile, knowing my words would fall upon her heart and her eyes as tears, perhaps in praise...damn, Old Miss Weatherly, how can it be so easy you say to forget a broken love, but to think about Miss Christina for so long after the pain comes to life...maybe I've still got love for her? who knows, for these ragged words are all I have for now...and a place to lay my head until dawn...which should be thanks enough.." I lament once again, as I close my book, put my quill down and blow out my candle...I shall see what the new day & this new world brings forth tomorrow...only promise can be found..."for it is tonite I bid you goodnite, Miss Christina...for it is sweetest of dreams and fulfillment of sleep I wish for you..may your heart always hold my love for you..and maybe Old Miss Weatherly was right...such wisdom cannot be challenged or fought.." I say as I slowly drift to sleep...


-
...A piece this dark & old deserves a preview of dead trees amidst winter's cold throes. Mayhaps to add a touch of cold to it.

Lyrics used in composition from "Plainsong", "Pictures of You", "Closedown", "Last Dance", "Fascination Street", "The Same Deep Water As You" & "Untitled" by The Cure from their album, Disintegration. Copyright 1989 by Robert Smith.

Lyrics used in composition from "Apart" by The Cure from their album Wish. Copyright 1992 by Robert Smith.

Lyrics used in composition from "Treasure" by The Cure from their album Wild Mood Swings. Copyright 1996 by Robert Smith.

Lyrics used in composition from "Posession" by Sarah McLachlan from her album Fumbling Towards Ecstasy. Copyright 1993 by Sarah McLachlan.

Lyrics used in composition from "Epiphany" by Staind from their album Break The Cycle. Copyright 2001 by Staind.